I know what you're thinking, "Oh god he's suicidal" or "He's depressed". I wouldn't say I'm suicidal as I would have to hate myself more than I actually do to actually get to that point of hurting msyelf. Having been to that point at one time in my life, I know I am not there. Yes I'm depressed, but to be honest, I don't think it is the contributing factor to feeling as I do. I think it is a symptom.
I have worked at the same company (a hospital) for seven years, but I have had probably close to seven jobs in that same time while working here. I get to the point where I feel like I have capped out on learning in that field and get bored so look for something else to do to keep me busy and learning. I have to keep my brain stimulated and my hands busy or I get complacent and boredom sets in. When that happens my work ethic suffers. This can relate to my personal life as well and unfortunately, I have getting in both personal and professional lives currently. Something needs to change, I know this. I'm just scared because of what I would need to do to change it.
I graduate with my Associates Degree in Applied Science at the end of June. I'm 28 and finally getting a degree. That's pretty pathetic. It's not even in what I've been doing professionally for the past 7 years. It has nothing to do with healthcare. I'm pretty much a grease monkey and I have no applicable work experience in the field so the likelihood of actually finding a job where they treat their workers well and keep them safe is slim. Not to mention to find a job in the area that I'm specializing in I will have to move out of state and with no safety net available. Not much I can do about that now. Oh well.
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